The meanest people in Madrid*

So I think I set some sort of new personal record last night. I saw this woman at an intercambio last night that had to be 6 feet tall or so and looked like Elvira with an '80s short n´spiky hairdo. I knew that she had to be Russian and I told Max that he should "mack it." We went sort of near her to talk to the guy who runs the thing by introducing people and he introduced us to Olga (a.k.a. Elvira) who, as it turned out, was Russian, from Siberia. With a lot of gold teeth. Max talked to her a bit before I chimed in, saying, "I speak some Russian." What I said to her was the equivalent of "I have wine, let's fuck." Only infinitely more foul because it was in Russian, the language of swearing. Let me state that I have said this to many Russian guys before and they all laughed. Olga did not laugh. She sort of stood there with a stunned look on her face and did a triple take. She didn't slap me, which Max thought she was going to do, so he quickly explained to her that I didn't really know what it meant. Which was sort of true. Anyway, she said, in broken English, that that wasn't something I should go around saying. I just stood there trying not to fall over from laughing. Yes, I was drunk. But I do feel slightly bad about it now. I didn't realize that it would offend her. I think that she took it as an actual proposition.
Another thing that happened while I was drunk that I also feel bad about is something that I didn't even plan or think about at the time. We were sitting at a table at this café that has a €10 all-you-can-drink night and this girl we knew came in. For the record, she's crazy, but this should be assumed about anyone that associates with us. She asked if the seat was taken, and I said, without hesitation, "No, but we're saving it for more attractive women." She said, "Well there's no chance of that happening" and sat down anyway. I thought that it was clear that I was joking and didn't give it a second thought. Only later when Max told me how shocked and chagrined he was did I stop to think about it. My thought process went something like this: "HA HA HA. Wait, that was mean. Well, whatever. She's still talking to us."
This is in addition to us making fun of everyone that we meet as soon as they're out of earshot. Binghamton has bred it into us.


* According to Max.