Duct Tape Bandages?!?!?!?

Strange New Products: Duct Tape Bandages
What the hell? Why do I want these so badly? I don't use band-aids (non-trademark name: adhesive strips, or in Britain, sticking plasters) all that often anyway. I guess it's because they've finally identified my particular nice in the market. Much like the popularity of metrosexualesque behavior has caused an increase in beauty products for men, these duct tape band-aids are a result of the same insidious soulless marketing anti-men identifying DIY as a new personal care target. We might as well just give in to the relentless pressure of capitalism. It's going to devour our souls anyway. If I see these duct tape hoojiwhatzits, I have to get some for my dad.

Smoking China chimp kicks habit

BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | Smoking China chimp kicks habit

Goddammit, China! Why did you let the monkey start smoking in the first place? We told you not to. Why don't you ever listen?