Wine and donuts

The other contender for the blog title was "Another Month, Another Blog Post." I went with the lesser of two lames. And, in case you're wondering, yes, that is my lunch. Wine and donuts. Well, they're not technically donuts. They're some kind of Spanish... thing... that is like a donut. They are ring-shaped fried dough covered in sugar. To me, that is a donut. Regardless, I know you are jealous. And I may have an avocado for dessert. Plus more wine. Obviously.
Anyway, enough of this pointless nonsense and on to the real pointless nonsense that I am hear to talk about. Celebrity heights. No, that is not the name for my new television series that plans to capitalize on '90s nostalgia with a high school drama where all the characters are washed up '90s stars. Think Beverly Hills 90210 (from which I will steal the scripts, changing all the name to be more "urban" and adding the occasional dinosaur attack) meets Where Are They Now? Keep an eye on E! Entertainment News for more information. If that channel actually exists anymore.
Anyway, the kind of celebrity heights I am talking about are the kind discussed on celebheights.com. Now at first glance this may seem like a useful resource, but one glance at the comments section reveals a hideous underbelly of time-wasting nonsense. Think of it like the Wikipedia of celebrity heights. There is a picture of the celebrity alongside someone whose height is known Every registered member is a self-proclaimed expert in the area of celebrity heights and they have endless arguments in the comments section for each celebrity's entry. There is endless back and forth over when the person was measured, spine compression, posture, stance in the picture, etc. and how much all of these factors affect a person's height.
Can you conceive of a more stupefying waste of time? And for the purposes of this discussion, we're going to ignore the answer, "Reading a blog where someone complains about people's obsession with celebrity heights." I mean, I've wasted some time in my day. Yes, MTV is going to have a reality show based on it, but only a select few of the celeb height elite will be chosen for that. Think about the future, people! Your career and place in society probably has better chances if you spend your time learning to juggle instead of spending time on celebheights.com
That's all for now. Hugs for everyone!

Another absence, another return

Hey. Long time no see. Yes, I'm still horribly lazy. Yes, I'm writing this blog entry when I should be doing other things. In the interest of maximizing my procrastination time, I have created another blog, http://dogsandpork.blogspot.com. This one is more or less solely for photos and will be a blog where I don't swear and talk about various quasi-legal activities so that I can share it with my family potential employers, etc. It's going to be mainly photos taken with my camera-phone, so don't expect Ansel Adams. There will be lots of pictures of dogs and food, mainly.
I will still continue to update this blog in the sporadic manner to which you are accustomed, but I'm busy with my "real" writing jobs over at Vagablogging and Suite 101's Instrumental Music section. I expect to be fired from one or both at any moment, so click now before these links become nothing more than testaments to my shameful laziness.

SAD

The weather over the last month and a half or so has been a bit crap. Chilly and rainy. The last two days have been indescribably gorgeous, or at least for six to eight hours a day. My phone was broken, but it is indescribably working again, probably out of sheer joy at such a beautiful, sunny day. I am going outside.

Got gout?

I came here to write a blog entry about Psycollider and how it's ironic that I'm writing this from Linux, which I installed largely for the purpose of playing with SuperCollider, and now there's a more functional version for Windows, but I was distracted by the sign from God that is featured above this sentence that seems to have no end.

Yes. That's right brothers and sisters! God can save you from that gout! He will cleanse you body and soul. I call upon all the faithful to purchase our lord's goods at faithmeds.com!

Yes, you're probably thinking I'm insane, but how can you read an ad like that and pretend we are in a world where sanity exists. And let's remember that you, the readers of this blog, whoever you are, are the target audience for this. You are all obviously people that would buy faith healing for your chronic, most likely alcoholism-induced gout.

New Year, New Layout

I was unhappy with my old layout for a while, but I had this fantasy that I was going to work some CSS magic and create my own custom template. I should have known better. Maybe I will still do a custom template at some point. Maybe not.
Resolutions for 2007: Post more. Read more. Get a real job. Get out of Madrid more. More music. Mejorar mi español.
I'm also planning on writing more letters. If you still haven't gotten a postcard or something from me and would like one, send me your mailing address. Swing by and message me on Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/apathyonastick if you don't know my email. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone who reads this blog. Congratulations. We've all managed to survive another year.

Video Games

Every so often, I miss video games. Case in point: Metal Wolf Chaos Trailer. Whatever you are doing, wherever you are, take the time right now to watch this. It's Rambo meets the current administration's storyline meets Voltron. There is an evil vice-president who can't stick around to watch the hero die because he has to go drink his afternoon tea. Remember video games as a kid with misspelled, nigh-nonsensical English? This is like that but with a multi-million dollar budget and advanced 3d technology. The technology is so advanced that they had no one intelligent left to write the thing. Also, this is the action movie I have been waiting for. There have been all of these movies about jet fighters. There are not going far enough. I want a man in a giant robot made out of weapons. I have not seen it, but I can only hope that the robot made of weapons is able to transform into a giant weapon of some sort. But he throws a tank off a bridge. That's good enough for me.
But it is truly mind-fuckingly bizarre. The fake ad in the middle that is obviously supposed to parody right-wing commercials. "A heart of justice is a heart that loves America. Surrender now while your crimes are still not so serious." How much American television have they seen? Are the actors really that bad or are they specially generated by computers to suck?
Regardless, I think you know how to vote in 2008.

Michael Wilson '08: Believe your justice.

Politics

A "friend" by the name of A. Cybulski IMed me and informed me that I could come home now because the Dems, the new good ol' boys, have won. I immediately started to scream, "Hallelujah! Praise lord Jesus!" as I fell and foamed at the mouth and spoke in tongues because God had answered my prayers.
No, but seriously. I'm glad that the Democrats are back in power. Now we can get back to the real task at hand. Preserving the status quo. Talking about maybe someday making a plan to improve the level of health care for the American public starting in 2050. Which will be about the same time when we find out that Russia II: The Soviet Son has had a secret empire lying beneath the former USSR that is even more mean, evil, and communistic than 10 Stalins! Unrelated to the appearance of this super-communist, 2030 will also be about the time when the War on Terror and War on Drugs will have been accepted for what they were: utter shams.
Yes, a glorious new day dawns upon us. A day when Senator and Congressman join hands — Democratic hands! — and skip in circles of glee because it is finally their turn! They can do whatever they want and get away with it, just because anything they do is better by sole virtue of not being Republican.
What is the huge difference that they are going to give us? Who will benefit? What will get better? Are they going to give more money to schools? Will gay marriage be legalized? Will abortion be legal or illegal?
Will the country be any better off than before? I'll believe it when I see it.
But this blog entry, Pop Culture Metaphors for Yesterday's Democratic Congressional Triumph did make me laugh: "Congress is a Bactrian Camel, but both humps are filled with Democrats instead of reservoirs of fatty tissue (Republicans)."
Republicans = fat. Ha.